Grief

Although the nature of grief is often difficult to comprehend, it usually follows a predictable pattern. This pattern indicates that a painful period of grieving is a normal and necessary response after the death of a loved one. The absence of a grieving period should be regarded as a cause for alarm, while its presence may be a healthy step toward recovery and growth. When you lose a close adult friend or relative, an intense period of shock and suffering is expected. Recovery is usually not felt for a year or longer.

The Process of Parental Grief 

Parental grief may follow a different timetable. Your reaction to your child’s death is the synthesis of ways you have learned to cope with small and large losses. Regardless of how you mourn, the end goals are twofold: 

• Attachment — To say “hello” and to recognize the child’s existence as a unique person, separate from yourself.
• Detachment — To say “goodbye.” To readjust to the environment where the child is missing or never was. In this process, each memory that ties the parent to the child who died must become painfully revived for healing to begin.